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He first appeared in Fleming's novel Casino Royale and thirteen subsequent novels and short story collections by Fleming. Subsequent novels and short stories.


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more recent iterations in the series: Casino Royale (Martin Campbell, ), it implies that such masculinity is not what it is cracked up to be' ( ).


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At two hours and twenty-four minutes, 'Casino Royale' () was once the longest James Bond movie, beating the previous record holder On Her Majesty's​.


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He first appeared in Fleming's novel Casino Royale and thirteen subsequent novels and short story collections by Fleming. Subsequent novels and short stories.


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Instead of playing blackjack at Casino Royale we were now standing inside the gold-plated halls of Casino Fertile, a dazzling palace full of hope where we could​.


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Dude had no control over the ideological challenges going on within the Avengers, or the outcome of those battles -- meaning that his entire plan boiled down to sitting in some icy lair and just hoping things would coincidentally work his way. Hey, did I mention that the movie opens with Mills taking the murders as his first ever case? Before he became the Frodo of dadporn films, Robert Langdon's Tom Hanks humble adventure started when a secret Holy Grail guardian was found dead and surrounded by a series of elaborate clues as his dying message -- some more direct than others. MGM Turns out the version of this movie with the flying saucers is the most realistic one. What would have happened if Langdon hadn't shown up at his house?{/INSERTKEYS}{/PARAGRAPH} Keep in mind -- Zemo flat out says he's been planning this for a year, which was long before the U. A movie character is only as smart as the film school graduate thinking it up. Columbia Pictures "This explains why I keep getting drunk on tap water. The heroes come together for a good ol' team-up The entire super-feud is thus cranked up to Marvel Studios "Martha! In the poker world, this is called a bad beat -- when a considerably stupider player stays in with a statistically impossible pair of cards and somehow manages to win against more skilled players. While he may have been caught in the end, Zemo successfully used his intellect to break up the band. As Owen's character asserts at the start of the film, it appears to be the "perfect bank robbery. After finding an old cryptex linked to the location of the famed blood holster, our heroes contact a Grail fanboy named Teabing who happens to live in the area and has handy access to an expositional slideshow about the Grail being evidence of Jesus's hidden bloodline. The film takes place in the single week that Doe reveals his months-in-the-making misdeeds So just when the hell did our methodical killer decide this completely new guy would be the apogee of his madness? It's statistically ludicrous that Bond won with what he had. Lucky for him and fans of superhero violence everywhere that they did! But as the quest unfolds, it turns out that Teabing himself was the "Teacher" the whole time -- both helping our heroes and causing their plight as he attempts to weed out the true origin of the Grail. The antagonist in Civil War is Zemo, a clever little wiener who frames Cap's sidekick, Bucky, for the bombing of the already controversial Sokovia Accords, causing a deeper rift between the Avengers. To better illustrate how no one is able to single each other out, the film jokingly highlights the fact that one of the bank robbers fits the description of a large-chested, dark-haired lady. But of course, that stamina was all worth our jaws dropping at the reveal that Brad Pitt's character, Detective Mills, was one of the final "sins" in his themed murder spree. This kindly old man was secretly the puppetmaster behind the guardian's death! So was all the murder and double-crossing just an improv with his butler, or did he have this weird contingency plan on the back burner? When the shit inevitably hits the fan, the actual robbers flood out of the bank dressed the same as the captors -- giving the police no clue who was actually part of the heist. Bond isn't some amazing strategist, but rather the spy equivalent of some fanny-pack-wearing tourist blindly spinning a roulette wheel, randomly winning, and then attributing that win to skill. You're almost done. How lucky were Owen and his gang that there just happened to be a hostage that actually fit that physical description? {PARAGRAPH}{INSERTKEYS}Thanks for connecting! Like how Besides upgrading Bond from dad-chested Pierce Brosnan to husky-eyed sociopath Daniel Craig, Casino Royale also gave us a more "grounded" universe than its tsunami-surfing, rocketeer predecessors. He left clues to the cryptex, which then led Langdon to seek Teabing's help. New Line Cinema. Universal Pictures. Just hope they had a pet they really liked? Any normal player would have folded that hand before the flop. And for that, he deserves all the testicle beatings in the world. This technique works so well that you probably didn't even notice that some of the cleverest cinematic masterminds ever are complete dullards. Sure, Bond's cards worked this one time, but that was dumb luck. And while it seems "smart" that he would surprise everyone like that, for anyone who knows how to play poker, the real reason it's shocking is because no idiot would hold on to those cards in the first place. While the police interpret Langdon as the killer, the actual culprit is a mysterious albino monk being controlled by a double-mysterious bishop being controlled by a triple-mysterious "Teacher" leaking information about a secret Grail society. While the heroes are hashing out their drama, Zemo steals a Hydra brainwashing manual to further turn the Buckster into a heel. He does this by sneaking into the now-captured Bucky's holding cell under a fake identity, waiting for an EMP to kill all the cameras, and then triggering him with secret spy words. Universal Pictures The world's most miserable flash mob. And as Langdon runs from the law, it becomes clear that he was beckoned for his hotshot symbology skills in order to take charge of an Indiana Jones -style Grail quest. Marvel Studios "Howard the Duck. It can be tough to double check the nuts and bolts of all the super-smart things the character says and does, but that's where an old writing trick called "hoping to Christ no one notices" comes in -- that is, just make the circumstances around a character stupider without actually making them smart, and no one will know the difference. Columbia Pictures Is this just how he fires all his employees? Hasselhoff Fury. Then the dealer puts down a final card MGM If you don't play poker, just know that everyone's anus clenched up right about now. In a bumbling moment of hilarity, detective Denzel Washington awkwardly explains this to the only two hostages fitting that profile It's an act of police stupidity we've pointed out in the past -- but it also begs the question as to why the hell the robbers would have taken that risk in the first place. Like every good plot twist, the elaborate bank robbery plan in Inside Man is sheer genius so long as you don't think about it very hard. Let's take a look at Teabing's plan -- the crux of which being that Tom Hanks shows up at his door in the middle of the night on the run from the cops. Or that the Sokovia Accords even existed at all? Who knew Ian McKellen could play bad guys? So what did he originally have planned for the "wrath" and "envy" murders? It's the ideal cherry on a meticulous sundae of horrendous slaughter -- as the deaths leading up to this moment involved setups no less elaborate. Correction: Zemo had one superpower -- and that was the power of amazingly dumb luck. Like a limerick. After all, the entirety of his plan hinged on Captain America and Tony Stark independently discovering the secret Hydra base Or hell, how lucky was he that no one was physically guarding Bucky while he brainwashed him in the first place? All without a single superpower! There was a drawn-out force-feeding torture of "gluttony," a custom-made stab dildo for "lust," and the unforgettable year-long emaciation process behind "sloth. Had there not been another woman fitting that description, this entire "perfect" robbery would have fallen apart because of one pair of sweater puppets. After the dust clears and the hostages are detained, the case ends up being thrown out because no one is able to single out anyone else. Next comes our scar-faced villain, who harbors an ace and a six, giving him a much better full house. Not to discriminate, but if the entire plan hinged on them blending in with the hostages Universal Pictures "To become a master criminal, I had to learn to perfectly eyeball my brassiere doppelganger from a distance, because crime. Marvel Studios. Wikipedia His cards suck balls, is the point. Considering his attention to detail and planning, John Doe could have been the goddamn president if it weren't for all the psycho diaries and bloodlust. Remember, there's no way that John Doe knew who would be investigating his murders He had no idea a year ago when he was setting up his sloth killings, or a few months ago when he was special ordering the knife strap-on. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. It's like poetry and junk -- only the kind that leaves everyone feeling terrible. Once you realize there's no way his final act was planned, suddenly the whole "my sin is envy" aspect seems less like a profound self-examination and more like a shoddy last-minute book report. But as he later himself admits, this moment was pure luck While that could be an acceptable coincidence, the reveal comes after Teabing had already woven a web of theatrics in which his assistant pretends to double-cross him, gains the albino's trust, and is then poisoned by Teabing himself. Cap eventually escapes with Bucky to a Siberian Hydra base where Zemo plans to awaken some super soldiers. Was he just hoping some hotshot detective with a happy marriage would take his case What would he have done if both detectives were unmarried? Specifically, after Doe killed Mills' wife, the detective became "wrath" to Doe's murderous "envy" of his perfect life. It was just by staggering chance that Teabing's action leaking the guardian's identity to the bishop resulted in the star of Bosom Buddies showing up at his door. Bond, being Bond , is last to show his hand against this seemingly unbeatable situation Here's the thing: The reason Bond's dramatic reveal is so, well, dramatic is that it's completely unexpected that a pair of low cards would actually win the game. As we recently pointed out , the final morning of serial killer John Doe's master plan was the mother of all messy errands. Not only that, but prior to the robbery, the non-guilty lady was considerate enough to make a very memorable scene in the bank lobby by talking too loud on her phone. Never mind. That's a hell of a chesty bullet to dodge. And speaking of total boobs Columbia Pictures. So, uh Remember, it was the murdered Grail guardian who inadvertently framed Langdon. Or that Steve and Tony disagreed on the Sokovia Accords to begin with? Universal Pictures Plot twist: The robbers are collectively Banksy. Guy 1 shows a king-high flush, but Guy 2 has pocket eights, giving him a full house of 8s and aces.